im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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