I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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