I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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