I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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