I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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