im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
