I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
