It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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