Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
