so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
