I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
