my phone needs a breathalizer
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
