I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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