Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
