she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize