tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
