are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
