so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My bed smells like the plague
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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