So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
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