Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
