pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
