I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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