she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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