we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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