There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
