I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
