So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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