I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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