There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it's like heaven, but drunker
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
