just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize