Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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