I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
