Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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