Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize