he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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