We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
