dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
