i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
