Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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