Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
