So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
