So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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