She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
