Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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