wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
