We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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