I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
