that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
