He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
