I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
