Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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