he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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