Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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