And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
