So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
