Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
