my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Randomize
