she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
