Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
