Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
